Every once in awhile, I can't resist reading some particularly awful piece of cotton-candy "news" that I stumble across on the internet ("10 Fashion Mistakes Men Make at the Office"? Irresistible. FYI, Nick doesn't make any of them). Today I just had to sneak a glance at "How your birth order affects your relationships". Without giving my opinion on this advice, here's what it says about me:
It’s no coincidence that most U.S. Presidents were first-born [children]: This is the sign of natural leaders. You’re a take-charge person, so not the type to drive friends and romantic partners crazy asking questions like, "I dunno where we should eat—where do you want to go?" Instead, you’ll make sure you have reservations—and land a prime table, too. And anyone lucky enough to pair up with you won’t spend weeknights wondering whether he or she has Saturday night plans, because "oldest kids are planners," says Dr. Leman. You’re also old-fashioned—in a good way. You always come through on anniversaries and Valentine’s Day.
Your love challenge: Being more spontaneous. First-borns aren’t the seize-the-day sort (you’re not one to text your sweetie to suggest meeting at this fun café you just walked past). Likewise, "you hate surprises," Dr. Leman warns. Pity the fool who springs meeting the parents on you when you thought it was just the two of you going out!
Best match: Youngest child. "It’s a case of opposites attracting," says Dr. Leman. "You help the last-born be more organized, and the last-born helps you lighten up."
I can't figure out whether the appropriate response to that is "Good thing I got me a last-born!" or "I can't believe I reprint this stuff."